East-West differences all boil down to who wears the pants

Flying into Kuala Lumpur, I sat next to a smug-looking Western tourist wearing baggy trousers and a cone- shaped straw hat so that he could blend in with the locals.文件倉 I told him everyone in KL wears Prada except street-sleepers, who wear Gucci. ``Oh,'' he said, and then asked about Delhi, his next destination. I replied: ``Men wear a special Indian line called Lungi by Marc Jacobs, set off by Ermenegildo Zegna turbans.'' It's easy to torment Western tourists, since they usually know nothing about Asia. An Indonesian reader said she told her British Facebook friend that she lived in a high-rise block in a housing estate. The English girl assumed this meant she was poor. ``Then she visited me and was amazed that in Asia, high- rise apartments on housing estates are where rich people live,'' she said. In the United States, political correctness is taken so seriously that it is now illegal for males to greet female colleagues. Men have to drop to their knees and shuffle along with their eyes averted. But in India, bosses still say things like: ``Good morning, Ms Rao, you are looking very sexual in your tight blouse.'' I received an e-mail from Hong Kong reader Matt Cooper. His children had to bring a cake to school, so he baked one. The next day, his scrumptious masterpiece languished neglected on the table at school while people wolfed down the mass-produced cakes local parents had br存倉ught. ``Eww,'' parents muttered. ``That poor man can't afford to buy one.'' On another occasion, Matt attended a party dominated by Westerners. They had eagerly eaten all the homemade cakes, but totally ignored the one shop-bought cake. ``Eww,'' parents whispered. ``One poor parent is too lazy to make one.'' Where do these East-West differences come from? Let's solve this age-old mystery by calling ``experts'' and hope they may actually know something. A university contact in Hong Kong said it might have something to do with trousers. Historically, Western men have worn trousers and Asian men haven't. ``Western males' overheated genitalia might make a difference,'' she said. A Thai researcher said there were deep-rooted differences. Consider a typical Western proverb, such as this German one: ``He who likes cherries soon learns to climb.'' But a typical Asian proverb is this Thai one: ``One day, the orange will fall.'' I thought he was about to explain that it all came down to fruit choices, but no. ``Most Westerners evolved in places with long winters, while most Asians evolved in places with no winters,'' he said. So Westerners have a seize-the-day attitude, while Asians adopt a wait-and-see stance. So there, an ancient mystery is solved. And this may also explain the evolution of trousers. Gentlemen, we have to keep those genitalia warm. Send ideas and comments via .mrjam.org 儲存